The first annual MOWER event is in the books, even if the books are slightly tattered and worn after all the fun. Yes, the Men Of Woodbury Epic Retreat, at Larsmont on the North Shore of Lake Superior, was a roaring success, even if Mother Nature threw all she had at us. For hosts Joe Gillis and Scott Meehan, and for Terry Blake, David Jacobsen, Mitch Martin, and my own self, it was every bit the “Epic” indicated by the “E” in the acronym title.

We knew before we left that a major storm was approaching Minnesota, and we’d all been keeping our eyes glued to various devices to track its path. It was a big spiral of a late winter storm (despite the fact it’s the middle of April) and it was just a matter of where the bands were going to hit. For much of the week, it looked like the Twin Cities were going to get clobbered while Duluth and the North Shore might stay clear, if the storm stayed to the south just a little. Well, the first part of our guess was accurate. The Twin Cities got absolutely clobbered, with way more than foot of fallen snow in many areas and drifts as high as 4-5 feet. But, and this was critical, the whole system inched up a little further north and we got it, too. All in all, the weekend featured a little bit of everything.

We left on Friday morning, with Neighbor Dave and Terry arriving in Dave’s car at precisely the 11:00 a.m. departure time we had planned. My bags and supplies were already out, in the garage. Barbara Doyle’s only comment was, “You guys are just ridiculous, being that exactly on-time.” We were quite proud.

The drive up to the Larsmont Resort was smooth sailing, with Dave handling the driving duties while Terry got us off on the right comedic level with story after story. I sat in the back seat and laughed a lot. Joe and Scott, who each own condos at Larsmont, went up the day before to get everything ready and situated. Mitch was going to have to meet us all up there, driving up after he finished his work for the day. That was good, because Joe and Scott had ordered a huge carry-out order of barbecue and ribs, from a place in Duluth, and that meant Mitch could stop there on the way and pick it up.

We all got settled, had a bite to eat at the restaurant inside the lodge, and relaxed for a bit. When Mitch showed up, we devoured some fantastic food. And that’s saying something, for me. We get so much pulled pork and brisket at the race track, as part of the catering for the Media Center, I get a little numb to it. Usually it’s just seen as sustenance because it’s typically more bulk than rich flavor. I was kind of stunned by how good the ribs, brisket, and pork were when the carry-out arrived. Fantastic grub.

The other notable thing about Friday was the lake itself. Lake Superior is huge. I think it’s the largest fresh water lake in the world, but I type that only because I’ve seen that factoid online and I believe everything I read on the internet. It truly is enormous, though, but in the end it’s still a lake. It’s not a sea or an ocean. It did not look like a lake when we arrived on Friday. The storm was still to the south, but it was pushing the water north with big surges that turned into enormous waves, which could easily be surfed if you had a wetsuit capable of keeping you alive in that icy cold water. Joe’s condo is just about 30 yards from the rocky shore, and the waves were mostly breaking about another 100 yards out, so it was hard to get a handle on just how huge they were. By comparing them to a tree out on the point, and then trying to extrapolate what that 30-foot tree would look if it was out there where they were breaking, we figured the biggest ones were 15-20 feet. The next day, they were much bigger.

We were snapping photos and trying to get images that would show just how big and strong the waves were, but like this one you still have to imagine that this rolling breaker is 15 to 20 feet tall and well more than 100 yards in the distance. Otherwise, phone pics can just as easily be seen as little 4-foot waves just a few feet in front of you. It was mesmerizing, and a little intimidating to see the power of these waves in water that is so cold you’d have barely a minute to survive if you happened to be out there.

The plan for Saturday was that it was going to be a big day, and it lived up to the hype. Our first major order of business was a drive up to Gooseberry Falls, which is a must-see thing on the North Shore. It was cold out, in the 20s, and it was getting windy. Plus there were snow flurries beginning to swirl. The storm was moving closer. We dressed in layers, put on our best hiking shoes or boots, and hit one of the many trails in the park, which features steep cliffs, tall hills, and muddy root-entangled surfaces. All of that would’ve been a challenge for a non-hiking guy like me (I only had the shoes because I bought them for one of our trips to Kauai but rain cancelled our hiking plans) but what made it more “out of my league” was the fact leftover snow and ice covered much of the trails. Oh boy!

We headed off and the first words of advice I heard (I think it was from Mitch) were, “Dirt and mud are your friends” which meant whenever you could see bare ground you should use it.

At first, it all seemed like a fun walk in a beautiful park on a cold day. Before long, when we climbed the first hill and the tree cover allowed all sorts of snow to remain packed and icy on the trail, it all felt a lot more like “Expert Level” stuff for a guy who hiked every day this past February on Kauai. The only difference was it was 75-degrees on the island, most of the trails were paved, and it was all mostly flat. But other than that…

All in, we walked, slid, climbed, and skidded three miles. And nobody went down, which was an accomplishment. A few of us made big saves to keep from hitting the icy trail, but we all stayed upright. And despite the cold, we were all very sweaty when we got back to the trailhead. Those parts on the trails where they clung to the side of a steep hill or icy cliff and one slip or wrong step could create a very bad ending? Yeah, I don’t remember looking around much. I spent it all just looking straight down at where I was walking. So much so I had to take my glasses off, because the lower parts of my progressive lenses are for reading and the trail looked blurry. That would not be a good thing. I got the hang of it as we went, and managed to do a better job of keeping up with Joe and Dave, who seemed to have suction-cups for feet and limitless energy. Still, they had to “stop for water” every 15 minutes or so that I could catch up. When I’m walking on ice, snow, and roots I take my time.

After we got back to the cars, we made a beeline for Rustic Inn Cafe, a great restaurant and pastry place in Castle Danger, which is in my personal “Top 10 List” of Minnesota town names. On the way, three cars in a row passed us, going the other way, with surfboards strapped to their roofs. I kid you not.

When we got to Rustic Inn, our faces were still red from the cold hike, but we were all literally steaming as we walked in. I had to take off my jacket, then go to the restroom to take off my middle layer (a heavy Team Wilkerson sweatshirt) so that I could then take off my first layer, a t-shirt that was stuck to me and soaking wet. I put the sweatshirt back on and enjoyed an incredible club sandwich.

After we got back to the condo we rushed inside to see if the lake had calmed down from the day before. When we left for the hike it looked like it might be settling down a little. Upon our return, we noticed no such calming had happened, and if anything the waves were bigger and stronger than on Friday. They were now crashing up onto the point and surging into the yard a little. It was mesmerizing. We couldn’t take our eyes off the scene. We did, however, find ways to relax and get ready for our next great adventure.

A few hours later, we headed over to Scott’s condo on the other side of the resort and opened a couple of nice bottles of wine while we waited for our star attraction. Chef Uriah Hefter arrived right on time with everything he needed to provide an incredible Chef’s Dinner for us.

But here’s the thing. Uriah is a phenomenal Chef but he’s also absolutely hilarious and a fantastic story teller. Putting those two attributes together meant we’d eat like kings and laugh like kids for the next couple of hours.

We had steelhead trout and caviar (a first, for me), lamb chops and lobster tail for our main course, and a triple layer dessert that brought the house down. Every bite was sublime. Every story outstanding. And the wine was good too.

Huge credit to Joe and Scott for thinking of this, and for arranging it all. I think it was a dinner none of us will ever forget.

And yes, I asked Uriah if his name had anything to do with Uriah Heep. I was thinking of the British band, but had forgotten they named themselves after a character in the classic Charles Dickens book “David Copperfield.” Basically, Uriah said yes and I’m pretty sure he meant the connection was to the band. His dad must’ve been a fan!

We took our time, savoring every dish and enjoying the great wine. We listened to our Chef explain the dishes and the preparation, marveling at his skills. It was terrific.

We also each enjoyed one small glass (about two fingers deep, on the rocks) of a very special bottle of Johnny Walker Blue that Scott had brought. He’d owned it for 10 years and I think he said it was at least that old when he got it. It had never been opened.  I’m not a huge Scotch guy, but those short drinks were phenomenal. And it was very generous of Scott to bring that bottle out and crack it open for us.

On top of that, Scott put a Minnesota Lottery scratch-off ticket in every glass. I don’t think anyone won, but we were all winners on Saturday night. Big time winners.

Once Uriah headed out the snow really began to pick up. The storm had drifted north enough to have us in its sights, and the waves were roaring as they crashed onto the rocks. So that meant it was time to play a game!

Poker was one of the options, and I think the guys would’ve enjoyed that, but I was hoping to learn and play the game Dave had brought up. It’s hard to believe I spent so many years on the bus for baseball road trips and never became much of a card player. A little gin rummy every now or then (although I don’t even remember how that game works now) but I never played poker at all. I would’ve been an easy mark, for sure. The back of the bus was always where the card players passed the hours. I’d typically sit around the middle of the bus and my methods for passing the hours usually included reading a book, but sometimes I’d really push the envelope by opening the backgammon board. You could always find a teammate to play.

Dave’s game is called “Five Straight” and it was a riot. It’s a deep thinker’s game, requiring many different levels of mental gymnastics for you to really understand the strategy and excel at the game. Dave did his best to explain it but we all knew what we really needed to do was dive in and learn it by playing it. Here’s the gist of it: The board features 100 small holes. Each player has a set of colored pegs that go in those holes. And, there’s a deck of 100 cards that each have a number on them, ranging 1 to 100. Plus, you play in teams of two but are not allowed to communicate your strategy. “No table talk” is the rule but we bent said rule by smack talking the others while we avoided direct communications with our teammates. For the most part.

The object is to land five pegs in a row, either horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. With three teams playing, that’s not that easy and you really need to think about five moves ahead, while anticipating what your partner is also thinking, in order to win. Because…  The pegs you play don’t have to go in the precise hole your card denotes. If you have card 25, that means you can put your peg in the 25 hole or any hole on the board with a number higher than 25. You have options! Which allows you to play defense by blocking other players. And the strategy means the lower the number on your card makes that card more valuable because it gives you more options.

We played for hours. It got so intense we all lost track of time, too. I didn’t know how late it actually was until we all headed to our assigned beds and hit the sack. It was about 2:00 am! And I won’t name the player who actually had card No. 1 and he played it at the beginning of the game when almost the whole board was open. That’s the single most valuable card in the deck because it can go in any hole. Rhymes with Jerry and starts with a T.  From that point forward the other five guys were constantly screaming, “You played the ONE!!!”

While all this was going on, the storm was worsening and the forecast for Sunday was turning dire. Blizzard dire. Up to a foot of snow, 40 mph winds, and dangerous travel, dire. And we were supposed to leave around noon on Sunday to get back to Woodbury. Before going to bed, we discussed Plan B. That would be the plan wherein we stayed hunkered down on Sunday and went back to Woodbury on Monday morning instead, when the sun was supposed to be out and the temps would climb above 30. We decided to wait until morning to decide.

In the end, five of us stayed. Mitch was bound and determined to get back to St. Paul for the Minnesota Wild game. He called late in the afternoon to tell us he’d made it, but also to tell us how bad the roads were. For the rest of us, Joe prepared a great breakfast and we all just hung out in the living room watching TV (looking for Mitch in the crowd when we watched the hockey game) and telling more stories, while the waves grew even more enormous. On Monday, the roads were clear and we made the trek back, still stunned by the gigantic piles of snow on the ground at our homes.

To summarize, MOWER 2018 was an outstanding success. I consider myself enormously fortunate to have friends like these guys. The conversations never stopped, the laughter was constant, and the brotherhood was impossible to miss. One more time, a huge THANK YOU to Joe and Scott for welcoming us into their wonderful lakeshore condos, where we each had our own master bedroom with full bath. You can buy a lot of really nice things in life (like better hiking boots) but one thing you can’t buy is camaraderie.

Finally, as for this weekend’s NHRA SpringNationals down in Houston, Del and the team are there but I will be working the race from home. With it being in the same time zone, doing it remotely will be easy and it will save Del (and me) some money. I’ll be a cyber PR guy. And I have a feeling Del is going to do pretty well down there. I sense it.

As always, if you just read this blog installment and you enjoyed it, please do me a favor by clicking on the “Like” button at the top. See you next week!

Bob Wilber, at your service and wanting to play more Five Straight.