Yesterday, I posted a small notice informing Blog Nation that I had run out of time and run out of mental acuity to post my musings on Thursday Blog Day. So here we are on Friday Blog Day, which is kind of like “Monday Night Football – Thursday Night Edition” (that always cracks me up) and I’m still not back to full game shape. Going six time zones away to the east for a week (Scotland & England), then back to Central Time for a couple of weeks, and then four time zones west for 11 days, before landing back at home again, is a cumulative thing. Even Barbara Doyle felt it, and she’s a veteran international traveler who jumps and skips time zones multiple times a year. Pretty soon, you just have to sleep it off.

The problem was, neither one of us slept much (or in my case, at all) on the overnight return flight back from Honolulu. Then we got home at around 6 in the morning but couldn’t go to bed, because we had people coming to install some new “house stuff” for us. I ended up sleeping about four hours through the late morning and early afternoon, and then Barb laid on the couch “for a minute” just to catch her breath and that turned into four hours, right in the middle of the day. I went to bed early last night (for me) and slept in this morning, with the boyz, but I’m still a little out of whack. Hence, my late afternoon start here, although I did have some time-sensitive errands to run today, as part of the joy of home ownership. Here I am though, with tales of Hawaiian Islands. Let’s go to the beach!

It was a long trip from Salt Lake to Honolulu, and I recall actually sleeping a bit on that flight. I didn’t watch any movies but I did have the “flight tracker” app going on my personal screen and in what seemed like a minute I remember seeing our little airplane icon over Nevada and the next time I looked we were well off the west coast and over the Pacific. So, I either dozed off or was abducted by aliens. When we landed in Honolulu we had a bit of time to kill before the rescheduled Hawaiian flight left for Kona, so we partook in all things Sky Club before getting on the smaller plane. After having left home in the dark that morning, we landed well after dark in Kona, and still had 15 miles or so to drive up to our destination for the next four nights, the Lava Lava Beach Club. To say it’s a bit dark on the Kona Coast during a moonless night is like saying it’s a bit chilly at the South Pole. Pay attention!

We’d called the resort from SLC, to let them know we’d be late by a couple of hours but we could only leave a voice mail, then when we were about to take off from HNL Barb saw she had a voice message. It was Lava Lava letting us know that we didn’t have to “check in” in the classic hotel sense, and they actually had no front desk. We should drive right to our hale (pronounced HA-lay) and park under our private carport. The lights would be on, the keys would be inside, and we’d be all set to go. It wasn’t easy to find, peering through the darkness, but we somehow prevailed and found the resort, then parked in our private spot. The anticipation was killing us, so we left everything in the car and dashed around front to check it out.

As promised, the lights were on, the sliding glass door was unlocked, and everything we needed was inside, including a welcome note from the staff, a gift card for the restaurant, and other goodies. It was amazing. The place was fantastic, and it was literally on the beach, under some tropical trees. Not near the beach. Not overlooking the beach. On the beach. A public beach. A beautiful amazing beach. And the hale itself, Hale Nalu, was incredible. It was just the right size, with everything we’d need, including one thing we didn’t know it had and didn’t know we needed. That would be the outdoor shower under a couple of banana trees, surrounded by a tall lava rock wall. There was an indoor shower as well, but the outdoor space looked incredible.

We had about 15 minutes before the bar closed, and boy we really wanted that first Mai Tai, so off we went, traipsing up the beach and stepping over knotty roots in the dark. The drinks were perfect. Everything about Lava Lava, late that first night upon arrival, was perfect.

The only hitch during the first part of our stay was the weather, but even that didn’t really bother us. It was pouring the next morning, which made the indoor regular shower a bit more inviting, and it rained most of the day, but much of the precip was gentle and we could still hear the surf and stick our toes in the sand, so the weather was nothing more than a minor irritant and it allowed us to use that first full day as pure decompression and relaxation time. We spent a lot of it on the porch.

Lava Lava is in an area called Waikoloa, and it’s within walking distance of a nice upscale shopping area, so despite the drizzle we did venture over there to stock up on some provisions for the kitchen, check out some stores, and get familiar with our surroundings. We made sure to purchase the ingredients to make our own Mai Tais, which is always fun but never quite as good as the ones made by the bartenders. And no, I actually don’t drink Mai Tais unless I’m in Hawaii or on the way there on the plane. It’s a state law that you must imbibe in these fruity rum-based drinks when in Hawaii. Really. You can get in big trouble if you don’t. Seriously. I’m pretty sure that’s true.

It may have been a rainy first day, but it was sublime. I mean, really, how can it not be with a front porch view like this? Being on a public beach, the foot traffic out in front of our hale, and the other three that make up 100% of Lava Lava Beach Club’s accommodations, was pretty continual but in a very friendly way. A lot of the people passing by were from the mega-resorts nearby, and they seemed surprised to see the four cottages on the beach as they went for their strolls. We talked to many of them, and let them know just how fantastic it was, as we stared out and appreciated Anaehoomalu Bay.

We were sitting out there, watching the tiki torches light the scene later that night, when a staff member arrived with a complimentary plate of the special appetizers they were serving that night in the restaurant. Those would be called Pupu in the local vernacular. They were sublime. In the morning, they arrived with banana bread, pineapple, and guava. It was a “pretty nice place” if you catch my drift

Our second full day was not quite as rainy as the first, so the outdoor shower got to make its debut. Regular showers will never be good enough again. The water came out in one round stream, from a PVC pipe above the regulators. That, I absolutely loved. One thing I don’t like about many shower heads is the tiny little spray that comes out in a wide diameter. This thing poured on you like a miniature waterfall. I was plotting ways to take three or four showers a day. Then, after Barb took a shower she came back in and said, “When you take your next one, look up. Straight up above you.” Sure enough, there was a bunch of green bananas growing on the tree.

We did venture to the restaurant that second night, and that was more spectacular fun. Since there are only four hale units, 99% of their restaurant/bar clientele was coming in from the “front” of the place. We walked in from the backside, under the lit torches. We had wristbands to wear (they were put in our hale by the staff) and as we approached the back entrance to the restaurant and bar, a gentleman saw us and glanced at our wristbands. He then stopped what he was doing and came down the steps to greet us, saying, “You must be Barbara and Robert! Welcome!” He shook my hand and gave Barb a kiss on the cheek. He added, “I have a special table all ready for you tonight. We missed you last night, but very much hoped you’d join us tonight. We’re thrilled to have you with us.” Yeah, I get that kind of service all the time at restaurants. Not. Turned out, our wristbands were color coded. When he saw the orange bands he knew it was the Nalu hale, and he’d prepared by remembering our names. Amazing. As were the complimentary sushi tacos he brought over as a welcome gift. Dinner was as sumptuous as you’d imagine. And, with the $100 gift card they gave us, our bill was $9. Yes, I left a hefty tip based on the superlative service (the manager who greeted us was never overbearing, but always nearby and checking on us) and an actual bill of $109.

The next day (I think – It’s really hard to remember what we did on each day) we headed north a bit, to Hapuna Beach. What we discovered there was totally unexpected and fun beyond description. We’ve both been on a lot of Hawaiian beaches. Heck, we got married on one. This was the best one ever. There were a lot of people there, but the beach is wide and long so it never felt crowded. Plus, a lot of them were friendly locals, so that’s always good.

We put our towels down and took a long walk, up and down the beach, then decided to take a dip in the water. A little chilly at first, but it was soon perfect. And as we stood out in the gentle waves about waist-deep, I saw a bigger roller coming in and said to Barb, “I’m going to try to bodysurf this one” but I wasn’t expecting much. What I got had me all smiles and whooping and hollering out loud. All I did was jump forward a bit as the wave got to me. No mad paddling to get going. I just jumped up and it took me a solid 10 yards or more, keeping me out in front and on top of the wave the whole way. Best. Bodysurfing. Ever!

We laid in the sun, I walked the beach a few more times, and we bodysurfed for more than an hour. What a fun and totally surprising day. Again, I’ve done a lot of bodysurfing and usually it requires a lot of effort for very little reward. These waves, at this beach, were magic!

We enjoyed the Lava Lava restaurant again that night, trying different Pupu and entrees, while tipping back another Mai Tai or two. And Barbara said, “This place is amazing. I could live here. I could TOTALLY live here. Do you think they’d just sell us the hale and we could call it home?”

I don’t think they would, but I completely agreed with the sentiment. It took us one rainy decompression day to leave the rest of the world behind, but we’d done it. It’s truly an intoxicating place, with or without the rum.

We sat on our porch that night, illuminated by the tiki torches once again, and I think we were both giving off the same glow as the flames.

There are some ancient petroglyphs within walking distance of the resort, so we had to check that out the next day (or the day before, or… one of those days) and that was very cool. They are very old, from the earliest Hawaiian times, and since they are carved or pounded into lava flows, which are so hard they barely ever erode, even over thousands of years, they are still vibrant and stunning.

This area was the beginning of the King’s Road, which traversed the lava flows all the way down to Kona. We learned the travelers would stop and denote their presence, often showing how many were in their party and where they were from. The King’s Road, parts of which are still easily seen, was meticulously cleared and made obvious by the lava stones they stacked along its side, like an ancient guardrail. It was such a good guardrail the riders could often nap upon their horses, because their steeds knew to stay on the road and just keep walking.

Further back in the protected petroglyph area, we found some carvings with modern names and dates, like “James Fitzgerald – 1832”. I took one look, and said to Barb, “This is just graffiti! These jerks were tagging this sacred land before anyone ever knew what a can of spray paint was.” It kind of made me mad! Who knew graffiti taggers date back to the early 1800s?

We were back at the resort that night, and were seated out on the open area under the torches when we began to talk to the large group seated next to us. They were clearly having a good time, and were quite funny. I spotted the Canadian accent at once. One guy had won a free vacation at the mega-resort around the bend, and he invited all his friends to come with him, which is kinda cool in a “great friend” sort of way. They’d discovered Lava Lava early on and had been there every night. Before long, we were all one big rollicking party of Americans and Canadians, having a smashing time. Hilarious people, and it was great to spend an evening with them.

We enjoyed our final night, consumed the treats the staff brought us, made a final Mai Tai, and slept the sleep reserved for those who have an outdoor shower awaiting them in the morning. It was all off-the-charts. Then, back down to the little Kona Airport, Barbara Doyle’s self-proclaimed “Favorite Airport in the World” and headed off for Kauai, but not before a quick stop on Maui to change planes. We therefore managed to spend some time on four islands during our trip, although on two of them we never left the airport.

We’d been prepared to rent a car on Kauai just like we did at Kona, but my sister Mary informed me that with my niece Leigh no longer living with them (she just recently move to Portland) they had a second car, and we could use that instead. That saved me $250 (island rentals aren’t cheap) but we figured we’d make that up by spending an equal amount on something better than a rental car. We succeeded. Many times over.

Lonnie picked us up and we headed for the Marriott Courtyard, right by their condo. Barb and I checked in, got situated, and then walked over to the condo. It’s that convenient. Lonnie then took us up the road to one of their favorite places, the Olympic Cafe in Kapa’a town, where we had a few drinks and enjoyed the free Taco Bar for dinner. Mary got home later from work, and we all got a good night’s sleep.

With all four of us united the next day, we crammed ourselves into Lonnie and Mary’s car (a Honda Fit) and took off on a day trip around the island. That’s a lot of what you do on Kauai, because it’s not an island full of flashy nightlife or manufactured fun. It’s a genuinely laid-back place with a vibe that’s off the “cool chart” while it also provides vistas and views that one’s brain can barely understand. As a place to visit, or live, it’s unique and priceless. We LOVE Kauai, and Barb and I each have no trouble imagining the concept of joining Mary and Lonnie someday. Someday soon? That would be awesome, but we’ll see. It’s a slice of paradise. A big slice.

Again, I kinda lose track of the days, but we did make an excursion all the way around the east and north side, past Hanalei Bay and Princeville (where we stopped at a huge resort to watch part of the Vikings – Packers game at the bar) all the way to the “end of the road” where our NHRA friends, the Evans family, have their beach house. They weren’t on the island at the time (they live in California) but it was fun to head all the way up there and see it all again. Mary and Lon were pretty stunned by the location of the beach abode!

The sights along the way, whether they be waterfalls, beaches, jungles, or crashing waves, are mesmerizing. We also stopped a few times, just to support the local business economy of course. There’s this thing called “Happy Hour” and typical Kauai food is pretty happy-inducing, as well. We ate a lot of incredible burgers, flaky fish, fresh salads, and mostly everything else on any menu.

Christmas Day was lined up to be pretty special, and it was that x10. Mary works with a guy named Andrew, and they’ve become fast friends. Andrew and Bob live not far from Mary and Lonnie, but “up the hill” a little, meaning away from the beach. Many of my nieces and nephews have been over to see Mary and Lonnie and they are all now friends with Andrew and Bob, who have a jungle house that is magnificent in every way. The tropical flowers are stunning, the house is warm and inviting, the Christmas decorations were beyond belief. And, they were hosting all of us for an afternoon Christmas dinner. A new friend of theirs, John, would also be joining us. Did I mention that Andrew is an unbelievable chef? Well, he is. Every single thing for dinner was scratch made and carefully done. We all love the process of eating Christmas or Thanksgiving meals. Andrew equally loves the process of wowing his guests with food that would make a New York culinary critic rave.

It was great to meet those guys and we were all laughing and talking as if we’d known each other forever, within mere minutes of our arrival. When things start with a heartfelt hug and the words, “Mary and Lonnie have told us all about you!” it’s pretty obvious you’re in for a special deal.

We imbibed, we ate, we played a few riotous games, and we sat at the best decorated Christmas table of all time. So, do you think the food was OK? Yeah, just like the 1927 Yankees were OK. I’m running out of words to describe all of this. It was…. Beyond words! OK, that’s cheating. It was an afternoon I will never forget.

And, as a bonus, it’s Bob who is a fantastic pastry chef and he prepared a couple of scratch-made pies for us. Barbara can attest that I’m not a “pie guy” in any way. She could probably count on just two hands the number of times she’s seen me eat pie. She can add this Christmas to the fingers. Bob’s apple pie was not the sort of thing I’ve ever eaten. Because it was perfect. Plus, with the same name and same dry sarcastic sense of humor he and I hit it off at once, although I informed him that our names might be the same but I spelled mine in the other direction.

Throughout all of this wonderment, day by wonderful day, Barbara had been keeping an eye on the ocean, looking for whales. Our Marriott room overlooked the beach and had a wide horizon, and she’d spotted a few plumes and splashes, but not many. Then we had an actual thunderstorm one afternoon. Big boomers and heavy rain, just like “back home” in the Midwest. Right after it stopped, the whales got REALLY active. We didn’t have Mary’s binoculars, but just to spot them we didn’t need them. As soon as you’d see three, you’d see three more. Amazing. Whales = Greatness On The Planet.

We still had one more full day on the 26th, and Lonnie had reserved that for a trip to the the top of the magnificent Kauai canyons, and up there you can find some of the wettest spots on Earth. It takes a lot of rain to keep those magnificent waterfalls going 24/7, right? They don’t turn them off at night.

The ride itself is pretty thrilling, and all the way there we could see right to the top with no clouds obstructing the view. That’s a total rarity. Sure enough, as soon as we got there the clouds and mist rolled back in. That’s how it works, but all along the way there are other scenic spots to pull over and visit and we made the most of those.

There are certain things you see that are so spectacular your brain and eyes can’t really agree on what is being looked at. Especially in this world of computer generated movies and graphics, which really aren’t real, where we’ve become kind of numb to awesomeness. Your brain probably just gets the image from your eyes and reacts with, “Sorry, can’t be real. That’s CG. Don’t believe it…” Much of Kauai is like that.

Having tour guides like my sister and her hubby just makes it all the more special. They introduce us to people we never would’ve met, and I know if those people are Mary and Lonnie’s friends then they’re going to be my friends, too. That’s just how it works. It almost ALWAYS works that way. We’re wired that similarly. This trip was no different, and on Kauai it almost doesn’t matter if anyone in your group knows the people you meet. I think Kauai is the friendliest place on Earth. Just saying “Aloha” to someone usually starts a conversation. In the end, you’ve widened and brightened your world. I can see why Mary and Lonnie love it there. They will never leave. At least not permanently.

We had to depart the next day, but we knew we’d just done something very special. For my incredible wife, the last year or two have been very difficult, when it comes to her job. So much going on, so much pressure, so many hours devoted to helping make Itron the best company in the world, at what it does. For me, far less pressure in that regard but the incredible experience of putting my head down for a full year to write my book, followed by another year of publicizing and promoting it. New territory. New challenges. New roads to conquer. We both needed this. Dammit, we both earned it!

We spent some money to make this trip happen, but we knew that going in and we planned for it. There was not going to be a moment when we said “Oh we can’t do that. That’s too expensive. We’ll do the budget version instead.” OK, I take that back. Lonnie is the ultimate dollar counter, who knows exactly what everything costs and how it can be gotten without spending the average. I’m not. Except one morning at the Marriott on Kauai when it was time for breakfast. We went down to the restaurant and when I saw that the breakfast buffet was $24, I said, “No way. That’s ridiculous. Let’s order off the menu. All I want is bacon and eggs” and that’s what we did. And it took nearly 30 minutes to get our food, plus with coffee and juice, which would’ve been part of the buffet, our $13 entrees added up to a $22 bill. I sheepishly said, “I picked the wrong morning to let the Lonnie approach influence me.” We should have just had the buffet. Live and learn.

The next night, we flew back home and slept like babies on the plane. By that, I mean we were awake the whole time kicking and screaming. Not the last part (much) but it was still a long flight back and it was “slightly” colder when we got off the plane. Right now, it’s 1 degree and we’ve had flurries most of the day. We love it here, though, so I’m not complaining at all. Everyone is out and about no matter the weather, and Minnesota is pretty damn friendly too. Just a little chillier than Kauai or Kona.

And here’s a hint or two regarding things about to possibly happen. In terms of the most common question I’m asked these day, being “What are you going to do next year?” or “What’s the next book?” I can say that I’ve got a few finalists germinating in my brain. Nothing for sure yet, but after Mary asked me for the fourth time this past week, I went for a walk and a new concept came to me. Boom! There it was. Can’t believe I never thought of it before. I’m really excited about it, and I can do it on my own with only some help in the research and editing areas to make it it happen. I could just get the band back together with Greg, Elon, and Todd and off we’d go. That’s all I’ll say for now, but it would be another labor of love, and that’s what drives me. I’ll keep you posted.

On the travel front, there is a good chance I’ll be going back to Kauai in the next couple of months, to do a favor for Mary and Lonnie. That’s hilarious, right? Yeah, I’ll suffer through another trip to Kauai just because that’s the kind of brother I am. I’m a giver! I’m about to book the flights for that, but until I have them reserved I’ll keep the details under wraps. Weirder things have happened than having to alter or cancel a trip like that, but all signs point toward me going. And I might use the solo trip (Barb can’t go and Mary and Lon will be gone, so I’ll be staying at their place) as a test run for finding out what it might be like to actually live there. Mary and Lonnie did it without any friends already being there, and that’s stunning. If we ever move there, we’d be joining them and all the friends they’ve introduced us to. It’s probably years down the road, I’m sure, but you can dream! Who wouldn’t want to live in paradise? As Mary can attest, when you live there you get a lot of visitors, so that makes it even better. We wouldn’t lose touch with our dearest friends, many of whom will be longing to get to the islands, right?

That’s it for this epic. I’ll be back next week, same Blog Day, same Blog Channel, and I might include more of the photos I didn’t have room for here. When I woke up this morning I saw the white snow outside and my groggy brain initially thought it was the sandy beach. I hope that happens again tomorrow. It’s a great way to start the day.

And, as always friends, if you read this monster and found it enjoyable, please “Like” it by clicking on the button at the top.

Have a very Happy and Safe New Year’s Eve. I’ll see you all in 2018. Aloha!

Bob Wilber, at your service and still finding sand in my flip flops!